"6:45am... As I walked around camp, the same thought came back to me that I had through the night after reading my journaling at the beginning of this calligraphy business adventure - how You had transformed the fear and dread and overwhelming anxiety about "going public" with my work…into joy, anticipation and eagerness to get going. Like vibrant life out of paralyzing fear.
Here I am at yet another juncture, that You have handed to me on a platter: willing hearts and hands in 2 people to take this to the next level: a website and an extra set of hands for production (this after the 5 weeks of icing painful arms and hands!). Met with this offer, all I could do was shake in my boots and think of the cascading ramifications of this step (Paypal? Shipping & handling? Increased production for my hands? More, varied tasks? Possible need to hire employees and all the legalities of that?)........INSTEAD OF joy, thanksgiving and chomping at the bit to go. When I wrote thank you notes to the two, I wrote about this retreat and seeking Your counsel in this. It seems You have already given it by providing them......for there can be no other explanation. It is now up to me to say, "Here am I, Lord, I will go."
Enthusiasm out of dread. Joy out of fear. Life out of death.
As I walked around the camp in the quiet and dawn of a brand new day, that seemed to be Your urging. And then I came upon a dead tree stump some 2 feet or so in diameter….out of which was growing a new life - a little tree only 2 inches in diameter yet twice as tall as me and full of green leaves. Awesome! I wonder if I can draw that! But I don't have anything with me, not even a camera…
9am...HEAR Session "Hearing God above the din & clatter of life" Do I add anything to those distractions? Compulsive note-taking was the first thing that came to my mind. You seem to be saying: RELAX AND LISTEN, JUST ABSORB ; don't mask it with actions/tasks! Again, I was reminded of the icing of my hands - which stopped me in my tracks completely. There was nothing else I COULD do with that time. The speaker likes to meditate on scriptures through drawing and so showed us her drawing of this tree by water for Ps1:3.... And then she said, "Here is everything you need to draw one of your own." AWESOME, AWESOME GOD.
Not only did she draw a tree (just in case I forgot what I wrote 2 hours ago), she also provided everything I needed to draw! So I drew the tree coming out the dead stump. Thank You, Lord!"
Later, at the same retreat, another speaker took us to Isaiah….and as I read on, I found both scriptures that are included in this piece. "But when…trees are cut down, stumps are left. And my holy people will be like stumps that begin to grow again." Is 6:13 NIRV; "Jesse's family is like a tree that has been cut down. A new little tree will grow from its stump." Is 11:1 NIRV; Other text: "life out of death, enthusiasm out of dread, joy out of fear".
This was the first time I drew with watercolor pencils, and from 3D reality (instead of 2D reference). I remember sitting down near the stump to draw it, sighing and praying, "Here we go, Lord. I know this is of You, so please let me do justice to how You have spoken to me".